Love,Sex aur Dhokha

Basant 2011

I already have had my share of fun in the day watching the 60 somethings slug it out in the 'Alumni Sports'.My sincerest apologies, but it was funny! I know when I'll be on the wrong side of 60, I too will find it difficult to make the bat meet the ball, and a 20 something lad would be making fun of me, but that's a long time from now,so I can be a jerk for the time being!

Then there was the kite-flying session. It actually turned out to be a miniature kite flying session, with the kites brought from Liliput for the cheapest rates,probably 100 pieces for a buck.Bummer! And the 'manjha' was actually synthetic 'saddi' in fancy bright yellows and greens! Like it has got to do anything with the actual kite-flying?!!

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I am roaming around with a camera in the lower ground. It has been 2 hours now and I have clicked the event in all its details. Now, I am looking for those candid shots! And my mood is equally matched by the rose giving session. It has been going on for a while, but has picked up pace lately, as the sun is setting. Maybe because the guys might find it easier to save their faces in the dark! :P

See, it goes this way. First year girls sell roses to anyone whose willing(or not) to buy them.That's making money. The guy who purchases it(or is forced to purchase it) then gives that rose to a girl.That's wasting money. The girl is in most cases a first year, and so the rose safely returns to the sales window from where it is again set as bait to catch another fool.That's making money and making fools!

So I see these 2 girls approach a guy. Both of them are carrying red roses,lots of them.After a lot of debate and no-no, the guy (very unwillingly) purchases a red rose for 200 bucks! And if that's not foolish enough the guy asks the seller girl to accept it. The seller girl refuses,which amazes me. Given that if she had accepted, she was practically getting 200 bucks for doing nothing!(Which again proves that most girls are stupid, and they can only appear clever in the company of a stupider guy!)

The guy is left pondering what to do with that rose bud, while the seller girl ruthlessly says out to her partner-in-crime, as both of them cross walk across me:

"Mujhe kya karna hai? Wos kisi ko bhi de rose...mujhe toh sirf paise se matlab hai!"

(No) Love, (No) Sex, (Only) Dhokha!

The Ballad of Bomberman- Act 3

Act 3: Convince or Confuse!

November 18,2010

Dept. of Fuel and Mineral Engg.

Well if on Monday I was saved by my room mate, then on Tuesday Fortuna and Tyche themselves helped me out of Mandrake's torture session! I was halfway through the prac-o-mania and things had turned, to say the least, humorously favourable.
Wednesday was a gap day. I did nothing much. I had been doing nothing much for some time then. So, while people were busy studying for the 'Excursion Viva' on Thursday, I was writing a new blog post, chatting on FB, looking up for t-shirts on Myntra's website, pondering over which one's to buy soon.
It wasn't like I didn't want to study. I couldn't. Why? Well, here's the story.
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The 'excursion' on which the Thursday viva was going to be based happened sometime back in February this year,if I remember correctly. And guess what? I didn't go on that excursion! So while the rest of the future mineral engineers were getting to know about the various equipments and stuff at McNally Bharat Engineering, good old Varun lay in his bed, down with a fever which was the direct precursor of the break-up he had the night before!
The HoD was furious at my absence but our CR, Pathak- my sweetheart, controlled the situation. Still the HoD said he wanted a valid certificate from a doctor about my condition (physical, not mental!) or he would not let me sit in the semester exams. I didn't give a damn about the certificate, and the HoD, well he is too old to remember everything that he says!
And at that point I had thought- "Phew!That was a close shave man! Got away easily this time!"
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But the ghosts of the past had come back to haunt me. Imagine being in my situation and sitting in the viva when you never went for the excursion. It's like asking a virgin to write a 500 words essay on his sexual experiences!
I was confident the professors would have forgotten the attendance thingy.The only  worry was I had to sit there and bluff! Good thing for me, my room mate came to my rescue again. He had carried a camera on that day and I got to see what MBE actually looked like. My preparation comprised of knowing the place where we went(read, where I never went), a brief of the company operation told to us by the in-charge there ( read , never told to me), what equipments we saw (read, I never saw). That much was enough,I guessed. And I was way better than many other guys, including our very own Pammy-He had been on the trip and now while preparing he looked up for the company's site at Google by typing "Mechanically Bharat Engineering"!!! No wonder we hear so many Sardar jokes everyday! :P
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It was Kalicharan and Jha again! I was relieved to see no Nikkam the HoD. My group comprised of Bhangi, Adi, Baul and me. Adi too had missed out on the excursion and we were both happy that none of us would go to the gallows alone!
But I guess the professors had been bored to death by continuously asking questions about MBE. And so when we went in, they decided to ask some very basic textbook questions. What more could I have asked for! Well, I could have actually. They asked us some trick questions about the difference between Ball mills and Rod mills. All of us bungled up. But the bungling was so synchronized and carried out with such fluidity that the professors didn't notice it. I mean what we all said was correct, it was just not what they wanted to hear. But as soon as they opened their mouth in pride, ready to shower their clouds of knowledge upon us, we took advantage and started parroting the same things, just a second ahead of them! Once we started, it was easy to make out what they were gonna say next. And the effect of it all was that the profs believed we actually knew everything! Poor old chaps! Got fooled by the Gen Y !
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I took a peek into the marking sheet in Kalicharan's hand and I believe a saw a B against my name. For the non-IIT junta, that means 7 on 10. Not bad at all, considering I never went to the excursion!


PS- The only con in this entire episode was that I was taken back to the time of my break-up! Why can't we just erase some memories from our minds?


Continued...

To be or not to be

My very close friend is going through a tough time. I can't name him for obvious reasons, but since he is as good a friend as it gets, it gives me shivers to look at his pathetic condition. And guess what can be the reason of his sad state? Well, it's a girl. But don't get it wrong. It's not those stereotypical 'one sided love affair' or 'rejected and dejected' or even 'loved and lost' affairs. It's hard to be 'adjectivated' or 'typified'. So here's what it is....as he told me...

He likes her.She likes him.

He doesn't know if he loves her. But he is sure it's the closest to love he has been in his life. She loves him.

He wants to be with her. She wants to be with him.

He is with her.She is with him.For now.

His mom might agree to her. Her parents might also agree to him.

He would probably tell his mom about her. She would definitely never tell her parents about him.

So he can't be with her.She can't be with him. Forever.

He can't leave her right now because she needs him. He wants to be there for her...with her.

But, when the time is right and she is okay with him leaving her, what if he needs her then?

And what if that time never arrives?What if she always needs him? He is sure he can never say 'no' to her for anything. What will he do then?

Now I don't know what to tell him that will make him feel good. I am afraid of the fact that they are going to lose each other. The pinching part is,as he says, their feelings will never be lost. I hope he gets out of this. And gets out without a broken heart.

PS- Since skeptics would anyway think it's me writing in the disguise of my friend, I won't make a clarification. I just want to say, if it was me, I wouldn't be writing it down. I would be doing something about it!

'Horror' scope!

Good morning Varun Tyagi! It's Saturday the 2nd of Oct, 1130 hours IST and here's a look into your near future:-

Education/ Career

You have your mid semester exams from Monday. Seeing your preparation and your inclination to do everything other than studying, it can be safely predicted that you are going to screw up again!

Also your attendances are at an all-time low, so if you were thinking of staying back at home for Diwali at least this year, you might as well throw that thought outta window!

Travel

You forgot to book tickets for your return journey after Dusshera vacations. The magic ball (aka the crappy site of IRCTC) shows that now you can do anything from pulling your hair off your head or sell your soul to Satan but you won't be coming back to college on a confirmed reservation!

You even forgot to book tickets for that Dehradun-Mussoorie trip your beloved mom so eagerly planned out. In the next few hours you're gonna face her fury over the phone when you tell her how your lazy ass has almost jeopardized the entire trip. 

Financial Matters

Congratulations! You are neck deep in debts, thanks to some whole hearted spendings lately! You don't even remember how much you spent and where! It is suggested that you better cover up these transactions( with special aid from Sister Charity) before Reserve Bank of Home gets a hint of your insolvency and declares you bankrupt!

Health

Your sleep cycle is facing disturbances of the same scale as being observed in the rain cycles of North India! Exercising is slowly sliding into backseat, not a good sign for someone who has been working out for a coveted 6-pack!

Romance

You seem to be confused! The cards dealt to you are a tricky lot. Play with caution.

PS- Piggy Chops has made me crazy with her look in Anjaana Anjaani. Too hot to handle! I love you ( drooling all over the place)!!!

"You should........

...concentrate on your studies. Yeh ladki wadki ke chakkar chhod de,kuch nahi milta in sab se!"- Mom
...concentrate on me more.You don't give me enough time."- Girlfriend

...pass the ball more often. Self mat khela kar."- A soccer teammate
...keep possession. Thoda dribble toh kiya kar."- Another soccer teammate

...call your mom everyday."- Dad
...call your dad everyday."- Mom
...call your sister everyday."- both Mom and Dad
...call me as many times as you can."- Girlfriend

...grow long hair.Aajkal toh lambe baal ka fashion hai bhaiyya!"- Barber
...keep short hair. Lafange ladke baal lambe karte hain!"- Grandmother

...crack CAT and go to the IIM's. Aajkal MBA mein bahut paisa hai!"- Family
...crack UPSC and become IAS. Shaan ki naukri hai. Aur uppar ki kamai bhi hai!"- Relatives
...crack GRE and go to the 'US of A'.Yahan India mein kya rakha hai?"- Family and Relatives

...lose your virginity."- An experienced  friend
...not talk about 'it' with me.It's bad."- Girlfriend

...go for arrange marriage.It will make your parents happy."- A friend who is herself committed for 6 years and plans to introduce her boyfriend to her family soon
...go for love marriage. Parents sab maan jaate hain."- A self proclaimed loveguru

..................And I thought this was my life,huh!!!

The stunt called 'Engineering Second Year'

The bell rang. It was over.
As the invigilators started collecting answer sheets,someone from the back shouted 'THIRD YEAR' and received unanimous appreciation.Yes, two years of engineering were now over!
Generally after the last exam, everyone around you goes insane. I mean, people are insane anyway! But after the last exams,man they act like they are gladiators returning from the arena alive!(Aren't they really?!!)
On my way to the room, I saw final year guys rejoicing,dancing at becoming an engineer.Everyone was congratulating each other.Some wore the weirdest 'fancy dresses'...and I still don't understand the purpose of wearing fancy dresses to probably the last exam of your life!(Can you imagine my friend Vikas saw a 'Superman' there too???Ya I know...it's hilarious!)
As for me,I was, as always,happy. Not the 'HAPPY' happy....but the small,contented happy.I had screwed in my exams big time! In fact, I can confidently say this was my worst performance.But, I was still not going paranoid!(You are supposed to when you have never gone below 80 but now almost failing in 2 subjects).Why?I don't know...maybe because I stopped caring a long time back???
Second year engineering...I'll never forget this one 'eventful' year...NEVER...because it was rather too eventful!
Looking back, I see....
1. myself sitting in the canteen or sleeping in the room, when I should have been in the class.(SEM III)
2. guys around me taking up drinking and smoking, and wasting away their health, at the same time complaining how mess food was weakening them day after day!!
3. a decision to start working out and sticking to it like a crazy for the whole year...and people commenting on my new improved physique! :)
4. FACEBOOK!
5. myself falling in love...and falling out of it in 20 days!
6. me,Vikas and our airplane...
7. a complete disinterest in anything remotely related to Mineral Engineering, surviving short attendance scare in MMR 13101 and a 7 pointer scrape yet again!

Repeat points 1,5,7 but change the semester, the girl and the subject respectively.

Semester IV brought...
1. my sister's marriage! And my understanding of the phrase 'The Big Fat Indian Wedding'!!!
2. Kshitij @ IIT-KGP, where our airplane flew for a few seconds, but we flew for days!!!
3. my new camera and my new passion!
4. backbench...daydreaming, sleeping, calling the FMC 14101 prof an ass**** and being heard!
5. old friends, new friends, good friends, bad friends!
6. Diamond roof,night, me and the endless sky!
7. Photoshop and Blogger!

Thus ended my second year...full of ups and downs.
Anyway,I'm a 'HALF-ENGINEER' now!It's one week before I head off to ESSAR Steel,Vishakhapatnam for a 42 day long training...my first industrial interaction and I am quite excited about it!


PS- 'S' you are a cute and decent girl and I really liked you.I seriously wish things had not gone wrong...
     'P' you are not what I thought you were and I really hate you. I seriously wish things had not started at all...