I ‘met’ a dog today.
The reason why I say ‘I met a dog’ and not ‘I saw a dog’ is that the dog I met was no ordinary dog. He was a special canine.Very special. He could talk!
Actually, I was on my way to attend the day’s lecture when he stopped me from behind to ask what time it was.I was startled at first.But then he appeared so casual, it made me feel like a dog talking to a human was as natural a phenomenon as, say, old men belching loudly after meals.
“I must rush. Actually, I am late for my lectures”, he said in a hurried tone. Lectures? WTF?Which dog attends lectures? He appeared to be more confusing than any professor I had come across in my life.
He comprehended the look on my face easily.“Don’t be surprised! You think only you guys have brains? We dogs are also very civilized.(Yeah right, that’s why you don’t have toilets and shit on the streets!) My name is Kappa”!(Okay, now I started to believe the ‘civilized’ thing!).”Listen, I am getting late so I guess we’ll catch up later”, he said and was about to run away when I called out to him loudly. “Hey Kappa, come on man. We seem to be mixing up well. Let’s have a cup of coffee and some biscuit leftovers!” He seemed to be offended by the leftover remark, but he agreed anyway. “The human behaviour classes are so boring anyway. What is there to learn about them? “, he smirked.It was my turn to be offended.
During the chat I came to know a lot about him. He was the smallest in his family. He had been good at studies since childhood. After school finished, Kappa’s parents made him give the CIT-JEE (Canine Institute of Technology…..). Kappa came out with flying colours, got into CIT, along with other ‘cream canines’ to embark on a journey to become what every canine parent dreams of for their puppy- a Caningeneer. But CIT was no ordinary place; Kappa had to face extreme competition. At times, he said, it was too much to cope up with. “Only last year, one of my seniors committed suicide by allowing a truck to run over him”! Plus the other devil was expectation. ”My parents are always asking about my CGPA(Canine Grade Point Average).They want me to be the best. So does everyone else’s parents. Someone’s expectations will be shattered. Nobody wants their parents to be that someone”, he said in a low tone, reflective of his dismal performance in the exams of late.
But he had managed to live with it. ”It isn’t total gloomy doomy after all. We guys are good at seeing the upside in everything. We make fun of professors, bunk classes, eat out at the best garbage joints, check out nice bitches (no pun intended) and make the most out of this time of our lives. Although, the fine line between fun and foible is crossed easily. Cigarettes, beer, drugs…you know what I am talking about”. (Hah of course I know, we invented these things you dog!).
He continued…
“You know, placement is not a problem. These days the market is booming. Domestic sector is always an option. Security and Investigation agencies go for the best in the batch, but for a mediocre like me, there are other options like join CIT coaching institute. And these days, many of us also go for the CAT (no pun intended, again) - Canine Admission Test for CIM (Canine Institute of Management). Many others go for CPSC (Canine Public Service commission).And the worst of the lot become professors! (Seriously no pun intended, this one’s a direct remark!)”
“Okay now I’ve already missed one lecture, I can’t afford to miss this one or I’ll fall short of attendance!” he said and ran away.
I was busy pondering over his story and drawing comparisons….
Actually, I was on my way to attend the day’s lecture when he stopped me from behind to ask what time it was.I was startled at first.But then he appeared so casual, it made me feel like a dog talking to a human was as natural a phenomenon as, say, old men belching loudly after meals.
“I must rush. Actually, I am late for my lectures”, he said in a hurried tone. Lectures? WTF?Which dog attends lectures? He appeared to be more confusing than any professor I had come across in my life.
He comprehended the look on my face easily.“Don’t be surprised! You think only you guys have brains? We dogs are also very civilized.(Yeah right, that’s why you don’t have toilets and shit on the streets!) My name is Kappa”!(Okay, now I started to believe the ‘civilized’ thing!).”Listen, I am getting late so I guess we’ll catch up later”, he said and was about to run away when I called out to him loudly. “Hey Kappa, come on man. We seem to be mixing up well. Let’s have a cup of coffee and some biscuit leftovers!” He seemed to be offended by the leftover remark, but he agreed anyway. “The human behaviour classes are so boring anyway. What is there to learn about them? “, he smirked.It was my turn to be offended.
During the chat I came to know a lot about him. He was the smallest in his family. He had been good at studies since childhood. After school finished, Kappa’s parents made him give the CIT-JEE (Canine Institute of Technology…..). Kappa came out with flying colours, got into CIT, along with other ‘cream canines’ to embark on a journey to become what every canine parent dreams of for their puppy- a Caningeneer. But CIT was no ordinary place; Kappa had to face extreme competition. At times, he said, it was too much to cope up with. “Only last year, one of my seniors committed suicide by allowing a truck to run over him”! Plus the other devil was expectation. ”My parents are always asking about my CGPA(Canine Grade Point Average).They want me to be the best. So does everyone else’s parents. Someone’s expectations will be shattered. Nobody wants their parents to be that someone”, he said in a low tone, reflective of his dismal performance in the exams of late.
But he had managed to live with it. ”It isn’t total gloomy doomy after all. We guys are good at seeing the upside in everything. We make fun of professors, bunk classes, eat out at the best garbage joints, check out nice bitches (no pun intended) and make the most out of this time of our lives. Although, the fine line between fun and foible is crossed easily. Cigarettes, beer, drugs…you know what I am talking about”. (Hah of course I know, we invented these things you dog!).
He continued…
“You know, placement is not a problem. These days the market is booming. Domestic sector is always an option. Security and Investigation agencies go for the best in the batch, but for a mediocre like me, there are other options like join CIT coaching institute. And these days, many of us also go for the CAT (no pun intended, again) - Canine Admission Test for CIM (Canine Institute of Management). Many others go for CPSC (Canine Public Service commission).And the worst of the lot become professors! (Seriously no pun intended, this one’s a direct remark!)”
“Okay now I’ve already missed one lecture, I can’t afford to miss this one or I’ll fall short of attendance!” he said and ran away.
I was busy pondering over his story and drawing comparisons….
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