Uploading pics on FB? Be ready to lose a friend!

The culprit image(or should we say the 'victim image')

 

The comments that followed...                                                         

Friend 1-mafia...!!!!...

Me- bad boy!

Friend 2- he he he !! timepass !!

(Ex)Friend- chamaar...(cobbler/Dalit sub-caste…a common slang in India)

Friend 3- luchha......(cheapstake)

Me-‎@(Ex)friend -ya ryt luk who's saying that? jealous hmm?? :)

(Ex)Friend- photu khichane shock hame nahi hai....(It isn’t me who’s interested in getting snaps clicked)

Me- ya probably coz u knw ur face ain't worth a pic! :P

(Ex)Friend - atleast i know it..u don't even know... :P  and dare to question on my blog(The blog being talked about)....f u..i told abt it earlier(thesaurus)

Me- ohh so this is the reason of ur frustration! I see....u knw u shud accept it too...u ain't worth a pic or a blogpost either! :P

(Ex)Friend- mofu....i didn't see that comment when i made the comment....shakal hi teri kuch aisi hai..kya batau..(your face is like that only,what can I do?)

Me- hahaha....seeing u this much frustrated makes Melaugh even louder...poor little thing! go hoMeto mommy and cry out kiddo! ole ole koochi koochi!

(Ex)Friend- m nt frustrated..... chamaar....

Me- oh yeah...gt no other insult in ur bag huh?abey maine suna aaj friend 4 ne tujhe pel diya! (I heard friend 4 beat you up today!) :P

Me-‎(LOL)

(Ex)Friend- friend 4 mujhe kyon pelega be(why wud he do so?)....and i don't lyk to strip anybody on a social networking site... :P :P

(He doesn't like to strip anyone on social networking sites...Ironical,isn't it??!) 

Me- oh yeah...u ain't gt the freaking balls to do tht geeko! And I heard ur blog was being banned for plagiarism!!! is it true?

(Ex)Friend- never..

Me- wht never? u ain't getting balls ever?

(Ex)Friend- do u have balls to face any difficult situation..the one u told me durin lunch..u fucking moron..u quietly pulled back....never know ur capabilities

Me- ooh....cheap shots...cuhmon (ex)friend u can do better than that!

(Ex)Friend- no i can't..happy with these words...u r nw evading frm the topic....nthg's cheap..u have a price to pay for evrything..see its my modesty to not write wat the incident was all about...

Me- go on write it...u knw u r acting so kiddish...goes on to show u can insult others but can't take it on yourself! ever heard the word 'hypocrite'??

(Ex)Friend- of course why should i take an insult.... and what for??

Me- leave it yaar...u r really sound so stupid ryt nw....seems like u r taking out ur frustration frm sum other incident here....

(Ex)Friend- yes...happy...this is what u want to here..and this is my last comment

Me- Thank God for tht! coz I was sick n tired of making fun of you anyway!! :P

My roomie- kya bc hai?bachhey ko chhor bhi do yaar (WTF? Leave the poor kid alone)

End of discussion!

PS 1- I had put up this pic(among others) with immense pleasure! I know they were kidding(were they really?)..but still it hurt bigtime!

PPS- After this the (ex)friend went on to remove me from his FB friend list…wow! Thanks man, because when you did that you just proved it you were never worth my friendship!

'Litti' in the rain

Have you been out in the rain lately? Oh, I am sorry...I asked the wrong question. Considering it's India we all are living in, I should first ask, has it rained at all where you live? If yes(miraculously!!) then have you drenched yourself in it?

I did. After a long time. For a long time!

Saturday Afternoon. I had returned from a 4 hour marathon IMS class. The food as usual looked inedible.
Then suddenly something inside me( most probably my stomach) said I should go out and eat Litti-Chokha( a traditional Bihari dish...one of the few good things I have discovered during my stay in Dhanbad). I oblidged. It was around 2 and the chances of getting the prize were slim(usually the natives go crazy for LC's and devour like 2-dozens per head at one go!). Anyway, off I went( I usually go out alone...not a spooky loner kinda way...but things just fall into place that way).

The first drop fell...on the forehead. Second closely followed and touched the tip of the nose. Soon enough it was all over me. Rain!
From that moment onwards whatever happened on that day is way to much for words...so I'll go for it in this fashion...


Running in the rain, avoiding some puddles, landing in others!

Raindrop splashes on the face while sitting in auto...reminiscent of the ride back from school during monsoons!
Fare- Rs. 4        Feeling- Priceless!

Hurled abuses at a car driver(alongwith the auto-wallah) who drenched me and him in muddy water...
Expenditure- Zero       Experience- Most enjoyable!

Hot Litti-chokha in a cool breeze...
Cost-Rs. 36        Taste- Unforgettable!

Smell of ghee and wet soil intermixing in my nose...that nostalgic feeling of home!
Price- Included above!           Payback- Enticing!

Being completely indulged in food, licking fingers, forgetting about onlookers!

Being single...not missing someone...and actually enjoying every moment of it!
Money- Nothing              Meaning- Everything!

Coming back all drenched...warm bath...drinking coffee and writing this blog... Priceless! :)


PS- Make sure to wash your hair after playing in the rains, they curl up and become a mess really! :)

Kappa

I ‘met’ a dog today. 

The reason why I say ‘I met a dog’ and not ‘I saw a dog’ is that the dog I met was no ordinary dog. He was a special canine.Very special. He could talk!
Actually, I was on my way to attend the day’s lecture when he stopped me from behind to ask what time it was.I was startled at first.But then he appeared so casual, it made me feel like a dog talking to a human was as natural a phenomenon as, say, old men belching loudly after meals.
“I must rush. Actually, I am late for my lectures”, he said in a hurried tone. Lectures? WTF?Which dog attends lectures? He appeared to be more confusing than any professor I had come across in my life.
He comprehended the look on my face easily.“Don’t be surprised! You think only you guys have brains? We dogs are also very civilized.(Yeah right, that’s why you don’t have toilets and shit on the streets!) My name is Kappa”!(Okay, now I started to believe the ‘civilized’ thing!).”Listen, I am getting late so I guess we’ll catch up later”, he said and was about to run away when I called out to him loudly. “Hey Kappa, come on man. We seem to be mixing up well. Let’s have a cup of coffee and some biscuit leftovers!” He seemed to be offended by the leftover remark, but he agreed anyway. “The human behaviour classes are so boring anyway. What is there to learn about them? “, he smirked.It was my turn to be offended.
During the chat I came to know a lot about him. He was the smallest in his family. He had been good at studies since childhood. After school finished, Kappa’s parents made him give the CIT-JEE (Canine Institute of Technology…..). Kappa came out with flying colours, got into CIT, along with other ‘cream canines’ to embark on a journey to become what every canine parent dreams of for their puppy- a Caningeneer. But CIT was no ordinary place; Kappa had to face extreme competition. At times, he said, it was too much to cope up with. “Only last year, one of my seniors committed suicide by allowing a truck to run over him”! Plus the other devil was expectation. ”My parents are always asking about my CGPA(Canine Grade Point Average).They want me to be the best. So does everyone else’s parents. Someone’s expectations will be shattered. Nobody wants their parents to be that someone”, he said in a low tone, reflective of his dismal performance in the exams of late.
But he had managed to live with it. ”It isn’t total gloomy doomy after all. We guys are good at seeing the upside in everything. We make fun of professors, bunk classes, eat out at the best garbage joints, check out nice bitches (no pun intended) and make the most out of this time of our lives. Although, the fine line between fun and foible is crossed easily. Cigarettes, beer, drugs…you know what I am talking about”. (Hah of course I know, we invented these things you dog!).
He continued…
“You know, placement is not a problem. These days the market is booming. Domestic sector is always an option. Security and Investigation agencies go for the best in the batch, but for a mediocre like me, there are other options like join CIT coaching institute. And these days, many of us also go for the CAT (no pun intended, again) - Canine Admission Test for CIM (Canine Institute of Management). Many others go for CPSC (Canine Public Service commission).And the worst of the lot become professors! (Seriously no pun intended, this one’s a direct remark!)”
“Okay now I’ve already missed one lecture, I can’t afford to miss this one or I’ll fall short of attendance!” he said and ran away.
I was busy pondering over his story and drawing comparisons….

2 weeks in Hell!

14 days...336 hours!
It seemed like an eternity.Rewind 2 weeks: Everything normal. And then suddenly, he went away.Nobody knew what happened to him. Even I was unable to find out what made him go away. And his unexpected departure had left me in a shock...and pain.
I couldn't sleep at night.All through the day, I kept looking at his image in my mind. I had been really close to him.He had been like a guardian to me. Always there to comfort me in my times of distress. We had spent a lot of time together. But amazingly, we didn't talk that much. He was always in my room. The three of us(me, Vikas and him) were almost inseparable.
On that unfortunate day, Vikas returned to the room late at night. He switched on the lights and found him motionless. He tried to wake him up but he was already gone. I was on my way, returning to college after summer vacations when all this happened.
I was the last one to know about it.
Friends came in my room and consoled me. Some told me to move on, some gave the usual 'adjustment crap'. The warden too was worried about my condition. He called me up and told me he would do his best to find out what had actually happened.
I was lying on my bed, thinking about him and the time we had spent together.Sudennly, Vikas entered and shouted...

" Abey electrician aaya hai, bol raha hai yeh fan short ho gaya tha. Abhi theek kar dega woh!!"

I was already jumping around.And why not?
'He'  had returned from the dead!

"You should........

...concentrate on your studies. Yeh ladki wadki ke chakkar chhod de,kuch nahi milta in sab se!"- Mom
...concentrate on me more.You don't give me enough time."- Girlfriend

...pass the ball more often. Self mat khela kar."- A soccer teammate
...keep possession. Thoda dribble toh kiya kar."- Another soccer teammate

...call your mom everyday."- Dad
...call your dad everyday."- Mom
...call your sister everyday."- both Mom and Dad
...call me as many times as you can."- Girlfriend

...grow long hair.Aajkal toh lambe baal ka fashion hai bhaiyya!"- Barber
...keep short hair. Lafange ladke baal lambe karte hain!"- Grandmother

...crack CAT and go to the IIM's. Aajkal MBA mein bahut paisa hai!"- Family
...crack UPSC and become IAS. Shaan ki naukri hai. Aur uppar ki kamai bhi hai!"- Relatives
...crack GRE and go to the 'US of A'.Yahan India mein kya rakha hai?"- Family and Relatives

...lose your virginity."- An experienced  friend
...not talk about 'it' with me.It's bad."- Girlfriend

...go for arrange marriage.It will make your parents happy."- A friend who is herself committed for 6 years and plans to introduce her boyfriend to her family soon
...go for love marriage. Parents sab maan jaate hain."- A self proclaimed loveguru

..................And I thought this was my life,huh!!!

Blast from the past-Part 2: Enter the dragon!

Continued from Blast from the past-Part 1: The Warning Signs ....

'INDIAN SCHOOL OF MINES DHANBAD' read the entrance gate.It was night and the light was low, but I could make out that a few letters were missing."Strange",I thought.I looked around as we entered the campus but couldn't make much in the dark."There aren't no street lamps?", I looked towards Papa with questioning eyes. Papa was talking to the father of another fresher like me. That fresher was sitting next to a senior in the back of the auto,and his situation reminded me of a lamb surrounded by wolves.

__________________________________________________________________________________

We were around 12 people in that auto-Four freshers(me, the 'lamb', a tall skinny fellow and a short skinny fellow), four fathers and four seniors.Soon after, we arrived at EDC(short for Executive Development Center) where we were supposed to stay until registration and other formalities made us students at ISM.

An 18 hour train journey can make you doze right away.But the excitement, anxiety and fear(of course) had changed the situation.I was turning sides the whole night. And for the 2-3 hours I think I slept, I had the strangest dream ever.

In my dream I was on an island, all alone.There were huge structures all around, and they were probably made of  books. The roads were zigzag paths and after walking for a few hours I realized they all returned to the same point. Suddenly, there was a huge noise behind me and as I turned around, I saw a huge eight-faced dragon! The dragon had shiny green eyes and he looked at me and thundered-"Don't let them get the better of you..."

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Okay so this is your room,106" my father looked at me as we started to enter the room.By 'we', I mean me,papa, my roommate Prashant Shukla(Mining Engg.) his father and his brother. Strangely though, we soon found out it was quite difficult for 5 people to be simultaneously be present in there.The problem solved soon enough as me and Papa got out to buy some items I would be needing.The city was nothing like Ghaziabad, it was worse, in every sense.I mean no malls, no multiplexes,no hang-outs,no girls!!! I really wanted to know if that's what our government thought would be an environment conducive to studying.
After the regular shopping and all, Papa stayed for 1 more day.Then he left on Sunday and from Monday we had our classes.I got to know there were 418 more freshers like me and 41 of them were in my wing only. That very evening I got to know a few of them and it seemed like we would get along nicely. All of us together survived the most dangerous meals of our lives that night and after some casual group discussions,moved to our 'rat holes'. Prashant seemed to be kind of an introvert and I(a chatterbox) was also not in a mood to beat about the bush. The thought of being in this place, away from everything I had ever known, was too hot to handle.
And we went to sleep at 10.It seemed like ages the last time I went to sleep so early.
And then the same dream.
"It is coming.They are coming. They want to take you away. Don't let them get the better of you!!"...

(Oxy)morons!

Wikipedia defines Oxymoron as "a figure of speech that combines normally contradictory words". Hmm...a lot of examples instantly flashed before my eyes:-
An honest politician!
What is with these guys?? I mean, why do they have to always keep stuffing everything up their...you know where!!! Bloody black holes for money! Stupid people getting all that power because of more stupid people like you and me.
The Delhi rain!
For those cynics who don't believe in global warming, I suggest you please come to my home...it's like the Thar desert minus the sand! Where is all the water gone man??!! It wasn't long back when I used to return from school all drenched in water. I get drenched now too, in sweat that is! And thanks to those black holes, electricity is as much a scarcity as the rains. Only God knows where we are headed(he has given a hint though-a four letter word that starts with 'H' and ends with 'L'...keep guessing!!)
Cheap petrol!
At Rs.57 a litre, it is already half of the pocket money I get per month! :P
Everybody's buying a car, but how many can actually afford it? I did some math(not that I am very good at it!!)...We have a Maruti Alto at home,a 2.75 lac decent family car. It notches almost 50 kilometres a day.And in the crawling traffic of the city,it gives around 12kmpl.So,(50/12)*365*57=Rs.87000!One-third of what we invested in the car!Per year...every year...
I have started saving money for a bicycle already... :)
True love!
Okay okay, I know it's a cliche, but seriously, where is true love?Or love for that matter? I am single nowadays(thankfully!!),but even when I was committed, I didn't feel anything I read about love in those rosy-cosy novels! One of the girls preferred a same-profession guy...as if that's got to do anything with loving her? The other was daring enough to cheat and stupid enough to get caught! And yet there was one who just wouldn't trust, and yes the one who was only interested in jumping into the sack... hello? What's going on?? Where is the L-O-V-E honey?
Uncomplicated life!
Naah...don't have to explain this one,do I? The ups and downs, the twist and turns, the friends and the foes,success-failure...all mixed up to make one helluva show!Enjoy!

PS-A kind professor, peace in Kashmir,India@FIFA World Cup,US troops backing out of Middle east,Lindsay out of rehab/jail, Indian TV sans saas-bahu serials....the list is long!!! : /

Back on the track

Hi there!
The past 3 months have been one heck of a roller coaster ride(as if my entire life is any different!!)...I almost got cut off from the cyber world,thanks to semesters, training, soccer, gals and blah blah blah....you know,the usual stuff...forgot totally I have a blog that fortunately enough,has some followers. And since I don't want that to change, I realized it's high time I returned to the scene.
So here I am again...with lots of things to share...the next few days will see me writing about my (mis)adventures in Vizag, the vuvuzelas, and the continuation of 'Blast from the Past' series...keep reading...

PS-The word 'Professor' has been derived from the French word 'preufesseur' which literally translates to "one who has a connection with the devil"!!!
(Ok now don't go Googling about it,it was a joke you silly) ;)