Love(d) the way you die(d)!

Arjun Singh, a former union minister,chief minister and governor who made a strong bid to become prime minister in the 1990s (yeah really), is dead. This is how the country's leading newspapers described it today. 

Well, I can forgive them for blurting out so bluntly,because trust me, it comes to millions of us youngsters as a great news! ;)

I mean, you can call me cruel/A-hole/jerk/Satan for bitching about a dead ass, but that guy was seriously a menace. He practically ruined so many careers overnight, with his famously infamous 'Reservation Act'. Because of that 'self proclaimed messiah of minorities', my(and many others') options of choosing a college, a branch, a career and a life were killed in the womb! Screw him!

And if you press your brains a lee-til bit, you'll recall that he is the same coward who ran away from Bhopal on the fateful night of December 2,1984. And that he played a big hand in getting a certain Anderson, a man responsible for the history's worst industrial disaster, 'safely' out of the country. Not only this, he was allegedly involved in the Churhat lottery scandal as Madhya Pradesh chief minister and in Hawala case. How could the country tolerate such a jackass all this while? And worse, some even hailed him as a hero!

There's no reservation in heaven for you Arjun, you're goin down baby,way down. And trust me, when I come over there, which I am going to for sure, you'll find yourself in a 'minority'!

Letter from a na'layak' ladki!

Following is a letter from a girl.A girl who is studying at one of the country's premier engineering colleges. A girl who believes that she belongs to a college,a community and a country wherein girls are treated at par with boys. A girl who is unable to understand why her freedom is being restricted for no fault of her.The person being addressed is the Dean Students Welfare.

Sir,

I write this letter to you, not to question or challenge the recent restrictions (if I may call them so,with your 'prior permission') that have been put on me and the other girl students, with your due consent. I am writing this letter, hoping to be provided with a rational explanation for the action, as I believe you are a very broad minded, progressive, anti-chauvinistic person who knows what he is doing.

First of all Sir, I failed to understand, even after hours of intensive thinking, that how could the actions of one(or a few) girls lead to the generalization that the behaviour of all the girl students is 'obscene,immoral and indecent'. But, then again, as I previously said, you must have yourself observed the behaviour of each of us closely and for a long time. Only then you took this step, didn't you?

Taking this thought into consideration, I duly agreed to be in my hostel latest by 9 everyday except once a month. But Sir, if I am 'immoral,indecent' and my public behaviour is 'obscene', why did you allow me to be out till 10 pm EVEN once a month?It might be harmful,don't you think? And if in the unlikeliest case that you are wrong, and I am honest and decent, then why did you allow me to be out till 10  pm ONLY once a month?

Another thing I couldn't understand was how by walking alone in the evening,inside the campus-with so many security personnel and guards around, I was being wrong and 'indecent,obscene and immoral'. I trust my male batch mates, my seniors and my juniors- most if not all of them respect a woman's dignity.I know you are concerned about my security Sir, but after all it's a college campus, not a prison campus,right?But then again Sir, you know better than us,don't you?

Also Sir, you mentioned that I should not wear 'indecent dresses' in the class or afterwards. But Sir, you didn't define what constituted 'indecent dressing'. If you could please tell me what kind of clothes pass your 'high test of morality', I could set up our wardrobes accordingly.

And Sir, I believe there must be a very strong reason for you to not mention a similar rule for boys,isn't it? After all, how could a boy look indecent,no matter what he wears?

And Sir,you also ordered me to be seen with my male friends only in canteen. Well no problem in that Sir, except that the canteen can hold barely a 100 people. And what with all the male population there-both students and outsiders -it would be kind of tough....umm, nevermind Sir, I'll adjust.

And Sir, did I mention that the 'outsiders' and the 'general public' who complained to you about  my 'indecent,obscene and immoral' behaviour? Well, on most evenings, a bunch of outsiders move around in the campus on high speed bikes,especially near my hostel. But I think, that would be just because they are so concerned about my 'safety and security',right Sir?

Yours sincerely,

Na'layak' ladki.

Lights, camera, ACTION!

So after all the delay and highest levels of fund guzzling,coupled with the usual blame game and mud-slinging(blame it on the Holi season,perhaps) the 34th National Games finally started in Jharkhand. Amidst all the hullabaloo, guys at my college were also in an upbeat mood. I mean, where I am, chicks are a rare commodity. And the games were supposed to bring loads of hot, athletic chicks into this otherwise barren land(it being duly noted that ISM is the venue for squash and netball).You might be surprised, but we engineers think about women more than we are accused of thinking about machines!(All those lame engineer joke makers, watch out...we can be perverts too!)

Almost 10 days into the games, the 'fever' has died down. Jharkhand has let the nation down, and ISM has let Jharkhand down! The squash court is nothing but a fancy rat hole. The 2 dozen lucky spectators have to sit so close, it probably sends wrong signals across the nation. The netball ground looked like it was made to be a gauntlet, with peaks and valleys all across. Like in all other instances in India, last minute preparations have made it possible for the administration to save it's face.

Surprisingly, the mess for the athletes and officials stands out as an epitome of excellence. Which again goes on to show that we Indians have bellies larger than brains and appetite take precedence over aptitude. Really if you see the mess, it looks like a million hungry people from Africa can be fed there and still there will be a lot of food left for them to pack their lunches and return home.

So, as I was saying the games have been a downer. But, how coukd Jharkhand government (there is a government in Jharkhand??) let this happen. And so, the Jharkhand netball team (which allegedly consists of the subs of Jharkhand's basketball team) decides that enough is enough and it is time to show the nation the power of 'Jharkhand's youth'! After all, the taxpayer's money should not go waste. They must be entertained, right? So what do we do? Simple, we take matters into our own hands. Literally. So what if we can't beat the other team (guys from A.P)? We can always beat them up!

Jharkhand netball team's antics caught on tape!

And if you are thinking where the hell did they get this genius idea from, look no far. Only a couple of days ago, a bunch of third and final year students of ISM beat up 4 second year students with iron rods, belts and spades (all those theories about video games and action movies promoting violence in kids, they aren't theories anymore!).

Times Of India coverage of the bash!

As the world watched, national players and students of a reputed national college of India threw punches and kicked their peers in the balls in what was a show of 'Diversity in Unity'! Bravo Indians, you guys never let action take a back seat!

Aisa 'bhee' hota hai

My 5th semester GPA card deserved some respect because it was my highest score-an average performance in an otherwise underachieving stint of 2.5 years.

So delighted as I was, I went to the stationary shop in main canteen to get it laminated. Now, it might sound weird, but in my college, guys get their GPA cards laminated! Every semester! Why???? So that it doesn't get a crease? Or are you still afraid that you will feed it with aloo-gobhi and chai like you did back in Kindergarten?

Anyway, I thought I'll join the crowd,just for this time.The shop owner told me to collect the 'laminated' grade card the day after.

The following conversation took place the next day:-

Shop owner-Naam boliye(What's your name?)

Me- Varun Tyagi.

The owner then proceeded to search my name through a stack of laminated cards,which were arranged alphabetically.

It took me a minute to realize that he was actually searching for my name in 'B'.

Now, in this part of the country, B is B. And V is B too. So the guy was nowhere wrong to believe I was 'Barun Tyagi, not 'Varun Tyagi.

Me- Bhaiyya mera naam 'Varun' hai.( My name is 'Varun'.)

Shop owner- Haan, 'Barun' naa? Wahi toh dekh rahe hain hum.(Ya, 'varun',right?That's what I'm looking for).

Me- Bhaiyya 'Barun' nahi 'Varun','VARUN'!Aap 'B' mein dekh rahe hain.'V' mein dekhiye.(

Shop owner- Oh, toh aisa boliye na ki 'Bhee' mein dekhna hai. Kya aap bhi tabse time waste karwa rahe hain!!!

Me-(WTF)....

Me-Haan bhaiyya, woh bachpan se thoda speech problem hai mujhe.Sorry!

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A Lenobho showroom,City Centre Mall, Dhanbad!

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Love,Sex aur Dhokha

Basant 2011

I already have had my share of fun in the day watching the 60 somethings slug it out in the 'Alumni Sports'.My sincerest apologies, but it was funny! I know when I'll be on the wrong side of 60, I too will find it difficult to make the bat meet the ball, and a 20 something lad would be making fun of me, but that's a long time from now,so I can be a jerk for the time being!

Then there was the kite-flying session. It actually turned out to be a miniature kite flying session, with the kites brought from Liliput for the cheapest rates,probably 100 pieces for a buck.Bummer! And the 'manjha' was actually synthetic 'saddi' in fancy bright yellows and greens! Like it has got to do anything with the actual kite-flying?!!

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I am roaming around with a camera in the lower ground. It has been 2 hours now and I have clicked the event in all its details. Now, I am looking for those candid shots! And my mood is equally matched by the rose giving session. It has been going on for a while, but has picked up pace lately, as the sun is setting. Maybe because the guys might find it easier to save their faces in the dark! :P

See, it goes this way. First year girls sell roses to anyone whose willing(or not) to buy them.That's making money. The guy who purchases it(or is forced to purchase it) then gives that rose to a girl.That's wasting money. The girl is in most cases a first year, and so the rose safely returns to the sales window from where it is again set as bait to catch another fool.That's making money and making fools!

So I see these 2 girls approach a guy. Both of them are carrying red roses,lots of them.After a lot of debate and no-no, the guy (very unwillingly) purchases a red rose for 200 bucks! And if that's not foolish enough the guy asks the seller girl to accept it. The seller girl refuses,which amazes me. Given that if she had accepted, she was practically getting 200 bucks for doing nothing!(Which again proves that most girls are stupid, and they can only appear clever in the company of a stupider guy!)

The guy is left pondering what to do with that rose bud, while the seller girl ruthlessly says out to her partner-in-crime, as both of them cross walk across me:

"Mujhe kya karna hai? Wos kisi ko bhi de rose...mujhe toh sirf paise se matlab hai!"

(No) Love, (No) Sex, (Only) Dhokha!

Don't be a dick!

Just finished watching 'The Fighter'. Needless to say, a well deserved Oscar nomination for Christian Bale. Overall,the movie was nice;although being yet another 'real-life-boxer-makes-it-big time' story.I've seen better movies in this genre(read Raging Bull, Ali and The Cinderella Man) but still I want to see how 'The Fighter' puts up the fight against 'The King's Speech' and 'The Black Swan', and of course Inception!
Notes from the movie:
1) Don't smoke crack!
2) Don't beat a police officer or you'll lose your hand!
3) Include more cardio in your gym routine to get those abs!
4) Don't be named 'Dick'; worse, don't be nicknamed 'Dicky'!(It sucks!!!)

'coz we love our teas and biscuits!

Prof. Michael W. Hitch (from University of British Columbia) is talking about mineral carbon sequestration. It's an interesting concept,one that probably holds the potential to solve the world's 'emission' problems! I am trying to listen to him attentively.But every now and then, my view is obstructed by the peon who is performing the most important duties of all. Distributing teas and biscuits to the 'junta' present. Several hands rise up, not to ask questions from Michael, but to signal to the peon to bring the tray of 50-50 biscuits towards them! And then the nightmarish 'classical tea-sipping' sounds!! SURRRRRRRRRRR......A guy behind me is furiously munching on the biscuits;loud enough to be heard across the border!

And there's the door,which creaks in every 2 minutes,signalling that yet another person has entered the lecture room. IST(Indian Stretchable Time)! 

Michael seems to be unaffected by these disturbances.I am not. What the hell is tea and biscuits doing at a guest lecture? At 11:30 in the morning?

My thoughts wander to the numerous occasions when the tea-biscuit couple make their presence felt! They are like the VVIP's of any Indian social gathering.Whether we are mourning, celebrating, discussing or simply idling away, WE WANT OUR TEAS AND BISCUITS! 

My thoughts are crash landed upon by a voice."Bhaiyya chai?"- the peon gestures with the politest smile.

"No,thank you bhaiyya.Le jaiye"- I answer and try to focus on Michael again.

Who is the real Indian?

Pride! (Clicked around 9 am,Republic Day,2011)

The teenager(among million others) who celebrated Republic Day(on Facebook)?Or the father who carried his 5 year old kid on his shoulders to India Gate at 4 am, just so he could watch the annual parade?

The marketing executive who thought that 'something related to deshbhakti' could make for a good ad-campaign this season? Or the soldier who didn't think twice before laying his life on the border?

The corporate mogul who donated a medical equipment worth 'few lacs', so he could safely gulp 'few lacs-of crores' in the nation's worst scam? Or the middle-class clerk who didn't mind spending a few extra bucks to get a bill for all his purchases, just so his nation benefited?

The famous politician son-of-a-politician who visited tribal areas, ate the poor's ration and did a one-night stand sorta thing with them? Or the social activist who gave up PhD in Metallurgy to become the voice of the struggle of Bhopal?

The one who put religion over national integrity and fought for a piece of land? Or the who read, watched and heard about it all, and realized it wasn't worth it in the end?

The country can fight terror. But how will it fight the indifference of its citizens?

The country can build weapons. But how will it raise martyrs?

1.2 billion People. And only these 7 kids wave the tricolour with true pride!